The Twilight Saga: Eclipse hit DVD and Blu-ray over the weekend, and the commentary track provided by Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart is among the highlights. Listening to it, you realize two things: She really hated the wig she had to wear (her hair was still Joan Jett short from filming The Runaways), and this could be the longest you’ve ever heard them talk as themselves. She’s a lot looser than she was on the commentary for the first film, and he’s even more willing to comically question Bella’s and Edward’s motives. They laugh constantly — especially throughout their disagreements below about whether Bella should continue her friendship with Jacob even though she knows it upsets Edward. He may just have been pushing her buttons (had they been in the same city when recording the track, he would have been slapped, playfully, repeatedly), but he might also be on to something: Is there a double standard when it comes to women in relationships being able to have male friends but men in relationships not being able to have female friends? Discuss.
BATTLE OF THE SEXES, PART 1: An angry Bella leaves Edward at school to catch up with Jacob
Pattinson: I just don’t get that. I don’t get your decision-making process to leave here. I didn’t even understand it at the time. I was just like, “I gotta break up with you immediately.” [He’s] like, “Please, please don’t go. Don’t leave me, don’t leave me, please.” And [she’s] like, “Shut up. I’m gonna go with this guy who wants to cheat, who wants to sleep with me” or whatever.
Pattinson: I just said the wrong word. “Who wants to kiss me, who wants to hold my hand.” [Laughs]
Stewart: Shut up… I mean, that’s the whole first argument that they had in the beginning is she’s allowed to have other relationships.
Pattinson: Why? No, she’s not allowed to have other relationships.
Stewart: And she knows him a way that you don’t know him…. It’s cool. It’s sweet that he’s being–
Bella’s greeted by the shirtless wolf pack.
Pattinson: Geez, if I ever saw my girlfriend go around to this bunch of guys’ house with all their little bellies out [Both laugh]… and their fake-tanned nipples and their iron-on tattoos.
Stewart: Edward is just a little bit more mature than you.
Stewart: He can handle it. He’s a little bit more secure.
Pattinson: Let me just ask you something… Did the weather affect shooting today? [Laughs]
Stewart: Let’s look at the wig. We can just judge by that.
BATTLE OF THE SEXES, PART 2: Jacob tells Bella he’ll fight for her until her heart stops beating, then kisses her
Stewart: Everyone’s always questioning her, you know. God.
Pattinson: Yeah, but Jesus, so would I. Apart from Edward. Edward’s not. Edward’s like, “Listen, this is how it is…”
Stewart: Edward’s not questioning?! Are you kidding me?
Pattinson: He doesn’t question her. He just tells her how it is.
Stewart: Exactly, which is basically always the opposite.
Pattinson: No question. But he knows.
Stewart: [Melodramatically] Completely disregards any of her feelings or opinions. He doesn’t listen.
Pattinson: Yeah, obviously, he wouldn’t. Why should you listen to some girl say she likes some other guy maybe more than you? It’s like, “Well if you do, leave me then.” [Laughs]
Stewart: That — no, no, no — that he listens to because that’s something that he can easily kill himself about. But all the stuff that’s anything even remotely complimentary to him, and making everything easier, and just being brave and jumping into something and being like, “It’s gonna be okay,” he’s always inserting all of these fake, pragmatic reasons that they can’t do stuff.
Pattinson: They’re not fake, pragmatic reasons.
Stewart: They are.
BATTLE OF THE SEXES, PART 3: Bella prepares to be carried up the mountain to the tent by a shirtless Jacob
Pattinson: You just give him so much hassle all the time.
Stewart: [Laughs] Okay, we can’t do this again, seriously.
Pattinson: I feel really sorry for him. I remember seeing this at the premiere, and I was talking to people afterwards and just going like, “It’s like the most depressing story in the world. You got this little guy coming around with his shirt off all the time. It’s so close to reality, that there’s always some punk who wants to get up in your business all the time.”
Stewart: What are you talking about?
Pattinson: What are you talking about?
Stewart: How is this related to your reality?
Pattinson: [Laughs] And girls can never understand it. Literally, you can only talk to guys about it ’cause girls never get it. Girls are like, “Why? I should be able to do whatever I want.” [Both laugh] And the guy’s like, “But I’m in love with you. You’re supposed to, like, respect that.” It’s like you can’t just keep going off with the naked guy all the time. If I started hanging out with girls with their boobs out all the time, then you just would not like it. [Long pause] Booobs!
Stewart: [Laughs] Are you drunk right now, seriously?
Pattinson: I’m so tired.
Stewart: You have like a pack of Heineken next to you. I know it.
Pattinson: I don’t. I have to drive.
Stewart: I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.
Pattinson: I’m not drinking, I swear to God. I’m just sitting in a room by myself. It’s so easy to go nuts.
Okay, whose side are you on? (And if you’ve listened to their commentary, how great is their chemistry?)